


Begin Again

by xspica



Series: A study In Songs [3]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: F/M, Starting again, still eventually a mollcroft story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-10
Updated: 2014-05-11
Packaged: 2018-01-24 04:55:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1592405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xspica/pseuds/xspica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I know that you don’t like me the way I do, I know that you probably need more time to get over him.” </p><p>He paused, taking in a deep breath and continued more confidently.</p><p>“What I want you to know is that, if equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me. You don’t have to give me an answer, we can still continue to see each other as friends or anything. If you feel like you are drowning in his memories, think of me, I mean,” Tom scratched the tip of his nose again, “I mean, think of anything that makes you less miserable and … I hope I am one of them.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'll Be Okay

**Author's Note:**

  * For [la_victoire](https://archiveofourown.org/users/la_victoire/gifts), [Wetislandinthenorthatlantic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wetislandinthenorthatlantic/gifts), [WinterKoala](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinterKoala/gifts).



> This is a sequel to [When I was Your Man](http://archiveofourown.org/works/1588724), so it would make sense if you start from the beginning. But if you don't want to... you don't have to. I guess? 
> 
> I actually liked Tom a lot in Sherlock, people who follow me on tumblr would know that I used to have Tom as my icon and my url is inspired by him. 
> 
> Anyway, as usual, this is a gift to all the amazing Mollcroft writers that I met on tumblr as well as Winterkoala who is an awesome podfic-er with a beautiful voice. I enjoyed her podfics. 
> 
> This series is getting a little out of hand and this part is going to be a multi-chapter part. I wanted to write it in lesser words but I find that I cannot as usual. The title of this part is inspired by 'Being Again', a song by Taylor Swift that I have on repeat as I write this. 
> 
> The chapter title is inspired by "You'll be okay", A Great Big World. I liked the lyrics. The poem that's in the story is "The More Loving One" by WH Auden. I love the poem alot and cannot help but use it. I have always thought Tom was a bit of a romantic. Gah. I speak too much again ! Please enjoy ! I will try to get the next chapter up ASAP.

* * *

_And I will be strong_

_When Love is gone_

_I’ll carry on_

-  “You’ll Be Okay” A Great Big World

 

* * *

 

Molly stood by the window, hiding in the curtains, as she watched Mycroft. He stood there on the pavement for a moment before looking up to her window. She instinctively ducked down before realizing that he wouldn’t have noticed her even if she had remained standing there.

She resumed her position and saw that he was already disappearing into his black Jaguar. Molly watched the car speeding away into the London night in silence. There were no more words to say. She turned away from the window and returned to her bedroom, her heart screaming in pain.

_A necessary evil._

That’s what the heartbreak is.

 

* * *

 

**1 Week**

Molly knew she looked like a wreck, even with the buffer time over the holidays. She could already imagine all the rumours people would be spreading around, and she felt a headache coming. She really hoped that she didn’t have to deal with all these. But it appears that there is no escaping it as her gaze met the concerned eyes of Meena.

“Molly! Are you fine?” A concerned Meena stopped her and looked at her from head to toe, “You look really terrible, got a cold?”

“Yes, I am fine, I … Yes,” She forced a smile, hoping for the conversation to end.

Meena frowned, “You don’t look like you are in any state to work, Molly! Why don’t you call your mysterious boyfriend to send you home? You clearly need a rest.”

Molly grew quiet and shifted her gaze away, her head bowed and hands clasped together, “We broke up.”

There was a growing silence and the atmosphere quickly became awkward.

Meena was lost for words, and didn’t know how to respond. Molly decided that this situation was too much to bear, looked up straight at Meena with an unnatural smile, “Meena, look, you…” She paused, “You don’t have to worry. I am fine. Don’t worry…” She paused, giving Meena a tight-lipped smile, “about all these.”

“Okay…” Meena said, “Anytime you need me, I am here.”

“Thank you.” Molly gave a small smile, this time with much more feelings and dabbed at the corner of her eyes with her sleeve while Meena pulled her into a hug and pat her back.

 

* * *

 

**2 Weeks**

“I’m sorry! Oh gosh, I’m so sorry!” Molly frantically tried to wipe the coffee off the stranger’s jacket but she was just met with a chuckle.

“Haha! No harm done, don’t worry about it!” He stopped her hand and grinned at her, “My name’s Tom, nice to meet you.” He stretched out his hand and Molly, taken by surprise, just took his hand and shook it, a little stunned.

“Molly.” She spoke, then nervously tucked her fringe behind her ear, “Sorry about that.” She pointed to the wet patch on his jacket. “No worries.” He smiled again, a little bashfully this time, and scratched his head with his hand, “I was wondering, do you think we can meet for lunch sometime?”

He looked at her, eyes wide with anticipation.

“Yes.” Molly was a little surprised at the sudden invitation, but agreed with a small smile. She felt her smile fall apart a little when she recalled the first time Mycroft asked her out for dinner.

 

* * *

 

**1 Month**

 

“Molly, I think I like you.”

Molly blinked, “What?” Obviously not expecting what just sounded like a confession from Tom. “Sorry?” She blinked again.

Tom blushed, scratching the tip of his nose. “I like you, Molly. I don’t know how to explain to you, but I felt an instant connection the first time we met. I don’t usually just …” He gestured with his hands, “Ask girls out the first time I meet them.” Tom looked straight at Molly, his eyes serious and face tense, “You are special to me. And I hope I can be a special someone to you.”

Molly set her cutleries down on the table, her fingers nervously entwined together.

“Tom.” She begun, bowing her head down. “You have been a good friend, an interesting person to talk to, but,” She looked up at him now with a frown on her face, “Don’t you think it’s too sudden? I mean, I only know you for barely half a month. Sure, we have been on a couple of dates and you make me smile. But, isn’t it too soon?”

“Molly-”

“No, Tom, let me finish. I just ended a relationship, I am still drowning in the memories. I am not ready now, and what if I will never be ready?” Molly’s voice softer now, “Are you going to keep waiting? Will you?”

Tom reached over the table to hold her hands, feeling them tremble beneath his warm, large palms

His voice was soothing, warm and full of love as he read out the poem, all the while not taking his eyes off Molly.

 

“ _Looking up at the stars, I know quite well,_

_That, for all they care, I can go to hell,_

_But on earth indifference is the least,_

_We have to dread from man or beast._

_How should we like it were stars to burn_

_With a passion for us, we could not return?_

_If equal affection cannot be,_

_Let the more loving one be me._

_Admirer as I think I am,_

_Of stars that do not give a damn,_

_I cannot, now I see them, say_

_I missed one terribly all day._

_Were all stars to disappear or die,_

_I should learn to look at an empty sky_

_And feel its total dark sublime,_

_Though this might take me a little time.”_

 

Tom held her hands, tightening his hold a little as he looked at her with a tender look.

“I know that you don’t like me the way I do, I know that you probably need more time to get over him.”

He paused, taking in a deep breath and continued more confidently.

“What I want you to know is that, if equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me. You don’t have to give me an answer, we can still continue to see each other as friends or anything. If you feel like you are drowning in his memories, think of me, I mean,” Tom scratched the tip of his nose again, “I mean, think of anything that makes you less miserable and … I hope I am one of them.”

Molly sighed, withdrawing her hands from his.

“I need time to think about this.” She looked at him, with her jaws slightly clenched. “I used to think just being able to be a part of someone’s life is enough. I was naïve, Tom.” Molly shook her head, “It will never be enough.”

She got up and left.

“Molly !” He shouted behind her. Molly stopped but she didn’t look back.

“I want you to know that I still want to be your friend even if you don’t want to be romantically involved. You are a charming, intelligent and strong woman and I want to continue knowing you.”

Molly simply nodded and left, her hand on her chest, trying hard not to cry as the words rang in her mind. “ _I want to continue knowing you, to continue to be amazed by how unpredictable you are and every aspect of you._ ”

The same words were spoken, but no longer by the same man.

 

* * *

 

Molly thought of the words Tom said to her yesterday afternoon as she stood by the window with Toby in her arms.

“What should I do?” She buried her face in Toby’s fur.

Her phone beeped. Molly turned her head, looking at the screen, feeling the familiar sense of dread wash over her when she realised that she had nothing to worry about anymore. That’s the past. She hides her face behind her hands, breathing deeply before looking at her phone.

“I’m here, whenever you need me. -Tom”

_I’m sorry._

_I’m here._

Molly looked at the message, deciding to ignore it. But before going to bed, she looked at it again, letting the warmth of the message wash all over her and soothe her.

“ _I’m here with you. -Molly_ ” She replied. _I’m here with you, in the present._

Molly knows that she is not over Mycroft, but then again, she might never be. She won’t know until she tries and take the leap of faith. She gripped her phone tightly and closed her eyes, hoping it’s the right decision. 

On the other end, Tom smiled with a silly grin on his face as he buried his head in the duvet with unspoken joy that threatens to burst from his chest. He will make it right, and they will be okay.


	2. All He Never say

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Molly pushed the box forward.
> 
> Anthea glanced at it, but make no movement to take it. “Miss Hooper.” She addressed her, “Are you happy?”
> 
> Molly looked straight at Anthea, her eyes clear. “Happiness is relative.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoots, I gave myself big troubles writing this and messing up a lot of stuff. Ah well.  
> No proper planning tends to be troublesome I guess !  
> This is definitely not going to be able to fit in the canon timeline so just think of this as an AU like it should have been.  
> Bah. Hope people enjoy this. As you can see ... I am not a fluffy person.  
> T_T

* * *

_All you never say is that you love me so,_

_All I’ll never know is if you want me oh,_

_If only I could look into your mind,_

_Maybe then I’d find a sign,_

_Of all I want to hear you say to me_

 

 _-“All You Never Say” Birdy_

* * *

  **2 Months**

 

“Molly, what is this?” Tom casually picked out a box that’s been carefully wrapped from behind the arm chair.

“What?” She asked as she leaned her head against Tom’s shoulder, not taking her eyes off the telly.

“This.” He passed the box to her and as she looked down, he felt Molly tensed up slightly. “Molly?” Tom looked down at her with concern, kissing the crown of her head.

Molly lifted her head, wearing a tight-lipped smile, “It’s nothing, I’ll put it away.” She took the box out of his hands, got up and went to her room.

Tom’s gaze followed her as she disappeared into her room and he ruffled his hair in frustration as he mumbled to himself under his breath, mentally kicking himself, “Shit.” He should have known. He sighed.

Molly took a final look at the box in her hand, the box that she had long forgotten about in the months apart. Then she shoved it into the back of her wardrobe. _No more._ Her mental voice determined. She closed the wardrobe door and felt a sense of relief in the depths of her heart.

_Move on._

Molly got back onto the couch with Tom and settled her head back onto his shoulder. Tom’s arms instantly pulled her closer into the embrace. Molly responded by placing her hand on his heart, feeling the heart pounding beneath her hand.

 _It’s the same but different_. She thought, _And it doesn’t matter anymore._

She was thankful for everything Tom had given her in the months together, maybe, one day she will love him more than she loved Mycroft. She closed her eyes as Tom leaned down to kiss her cheek, smiling as his lips caressed her skin.

* * *

 

**4 Months**

 

“Molly.”

Molly spun round when she heard her name and crashed into Tom’s chest. She raised her head and Tom tenderly pinched her nose. “This was how we met.” He grinned and she couldn’t help but remember their first meeting. “Yea,” She nodded, smiling widely, “I remember.”

Molly looked around the scenic park, taking in a deep breath, “And this is where we met.” She said.

“It is.” Tom leaned forward, tucking her hair behind her ears. “I’ve got something for you.” Molly looked at him, puzzled, “What?”

He reached from behind him to reveal a bouquet of lilies, “For you, my precious.” Tom smiled as he saw Molly’s eyes lit up at the sight. She reached forward to take the flowers from him and breathe in the fragrance. “It’s beautiful, thank you,” She was delightfully surprised and couldn’t contain her smile.

“What’s the occasion?”

Tom stared, looking a little nervous and unsure. He licked his lips in an anxious manner and coughed. He cleared his throat, “Molly,” He started, “I know we haven’t known each other for long. It’s probably very sudden. I love you, Molly. I will always love you and protect you. It’s crazy. But Molly,” He paused as he slowly went on one knee and reached for a box in his pocket. He looked up and slowly opened up the box with unsteady fingers. “Will you marry me?”

Molly was shell shocked and she remained rooted to the ground as she stared at Tom. She struggled to find her voice, “Tom… To..m, no. Please get up. Please.. Just. Oh god.” She held a hand up to her face, hiding her face, her emotions in a mess.

Molly swallowed, “Tom, it’s very sudden. I don’t think I can accept this. It’s a whirlwind with you and … it’s always so fast with you. There’s no slowing down, is there?” She asked, slowly backing away from him, beginning to speak faster and faster. “It’s too sudden, I don’t know what to do, please. Just. Get up. I. No.”

“Molly.” His voice made her stop blabbering on and also made her stop in her tracks. It was almost like a plea.

“I know. Just … listen to me. I know you feel like I am always two steps ahead while hurrying you along. I know this relationship is only barely 3 months and for me to pop the question now is a shock. I know it is incredibly fast and you are still sorting out your feelings.”

He continued, “I am not the best, I know. But I want you to be the one I wake up to everyday, the one I come home to, the one that I can pamper and love with all my heart. I will love you for the whole of my lifetime. I will cherish you. It’s fast, because I already know, what I want is standing right there in front of me. If you are willing to put your hand in mine, I will make good of all my promises to you.” Tom stretched out his hand to her, his palm awaiting the touch of hers.

He looked up at her with hopeful eyes.

Molly stared at his hand before shifting her gaze to Tom’s face. This is a man she has only known for slightly over 3 months, this is a man who knows that there will be a person, a phantom in her heart that can never be replaced. He knows of her past, but makes no demands for her to forget it all. Now, he holds his hand out to her, with the promise of love.

She really has no reason to say no, does she?

Her mind is warring with her heart. She wants to say yes, to believe his words and put her hand in his. But something feels so wrong, making her hand feel too heavy to lift. In the end, she ignored all the things she was feeling, shut her eyes and in one swift movement, she puts her hand in his.

Next moment, she could feel the cool metal kissing her finger as it slides down her ring finger. She felt herself being pulled into Tom’s hug, but she paid no notice of it, just lost in her own internal war.

* * *

 

**4 Months**

 

Molly stared at the abandoned box at the back of her wardrobe where she had hastily shoved it in months back. She looked down to the hand where the ring sparkled and sighed.

“ _Can I please meet you? I have something to give to Mycroft. - Molly_ ”

Sent.

There must always be an end to a beginning.

The reply didn’t take long. “ _A car will pick you up. -A_ ”

It was a short drive from her place to the small, quaint café where they met up and where Anthea was already waiting, busy tapping on her blackberry. Molly took a seat across from Anthea.

“Congratulations,” She said, her eyes instantly drawn to the ring on Molly’s hand.

“What? Oh, this.” Molly looked away while putting her other hand over to cover the ring. She looked away from Anthea as she spoke, “I just found something that I probably should have given to My-, Mr Holmes a while ago.” She laughed a little, “But you know, it’s better to not give it to him in person. So could I request for your help to pass it to him?”

Molly pushed the box forward.

Anthea glanced at it, but make no movement to take it. “Miss Hooper.” She addressed her, “Are you happy?”

Molly looked straight at Anthea, her eyes clear. “Happiness is relative.”

Anthea raised her eyebrow at the response.

“I am happier than I was before. I no longer had to fight with work that I have no chance of winning, I no longer have to fear the beep of the phone prior to a date. I no longer have to watch telly alone or spend holidays alone.” Molly clasped her hands together, “But I was happiest when I am with Mycroft, when he is there with me. I will not lie.”

“So why?” Anthea’s glance flickered to the ring on Molly’s hand, something she felt offensive all of a sudden.

“Because happiness is also a choice,” Molly’s gaze drifted to the ring and she touched the ring on her finger tenderly with a small smile. “And this is mine.” She looked up to look at Anthea in the face. “This is quicker than I would like, and I feel like I am being swept away by an uncontrolled force.” She paused. “I am conflicted, but also convinced that he will treat me right. The wedding's next spring. Not a long time from now. I will send you an invitation." Molly continued to fiddle with her ring.

Anthea took in the entire sight but didn’t say a word, she simply leaned forward to reach for the box on the table before speaking.

“Very well, Miss Hooper. Consider what you request of me done. But Miss Hooper, do you not want to know how Mr Holmes is doing?”

Molly blinked, biting her lips. A moment of silence later, she gently shook her head, her voice soft, almost lost in the clatter of people around them. “No, I don't need to know.” _No longer._

Anthea stared at Molly, then suddenly she got up to leave. When she was right beside Molly, Anthea bent down to whisper in Molly’s ear.

“Mr Holmes hasn’t been sleeping very well, he eats lesser now and he lost a bit of weight, not that he minds. But he has also been seen working more than he should, drinking more than he should, not paying attention to his health. Mr Holmes is a man of control and all these are unheard of. Miss Molly Hooper, you have always been his exception.”

Anthea looked down at Molly with kind eyes, but the words that fall out from her mouth continues to shock Molly and shake her to her very core.

“Mr Holmes always puts his work first, but he had also placed you on the same pedestal. He tries to the best of his efforts, but sometimes, trying is not enough.” Anthea shook her head.

“Miss Molly Hooper. The very same Christmas you broke off the relationship, was the same Christmas we had a crisis too difficult to handle without Mr Holmes. And even with him, our hands were tied. He did all he could to push for a conclusion so he could get to you as soon as possible. He was weary from all the dramas politicians are capable of and you have always been his shelter, more than he let on. He was happiest with you.”

“Why are you telling me?” Molly spoke, her voice low.

“Because he deserves happiness.”

Molly stared up at Anthea, her eyes defiant, “He can always look for someone else.” Her tone strong.

Anthea smiled gently, shaking her head, “But they will never be you.”

Anthea gave Molly a pat on her shoulder, “Think over your decision. Happiness is a choice.” She threw the words right back at Molly and Molly could only watch her leave as she absentmindedly ran her fingers over the ring over and over again.


	3. To Make You Feel My Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom smiled sadly, “Molly, you deserve happiness and I am not yours, no matter how much I want to be. I love you, so I don’t want you to regret your choice. I love you, so I want you to always be happy, to bask in happiness.”
> 
> Tom looked at Molly with a forlorn look, his hands caressing her face, whispering, “And I am not the one.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While writing this, I thought that "Make you feel my love" is Tom's song. Well, at least for my Tom. 
> 
> With this, I conclude this part of the story and will move on to finally giving Molly and Mycroft their well deserved ending. I already know what I want to write. As usual, I hope people would enjoy my story. I dragged things out for longer than I should I know. 
> 
> I am ashamed of myself.
> 
> Instead of going to the restaurant for food tasting, I was going to write their wedding photoshoot and how she kept drifting off, or how Molly kept looking as if she was going to cry and in one of the shot, she actually did cry. But ... I wrote the wrong story line. OTZ. 
> 
> If enough people want to read, I will put in an alternate scene. Something like that. Yea. Yeap. Or I can edit this part. Gah.

* * *

_I_ _know you haven’t made your mind yet,_

_But I would never do you wrong,_

_I’ve known it from the moment that we met,_

_No doubt in my mind where you belong._

_-“Make you feel my love” Adele_

 

* * *

 

**4.5 Months**

 

Molly couldn’t deny that she was still affected by Anthea’s words even after 2 weeks. Her words reopened wounds that have yet to heal and awakened emotions that Molly was determined to stay away from.

Sighing, she slammed the laptop shut in frustration. She buried her face in her hands as she allowed her tears to flow freely.

She shouldn’t be affected by this, she shouldn’t be feeling worried about Mycroft, she shouldn’t be thinking about someone else other than Tom. But she is.

And Molly is just wondering, will she ever get over Mycroft Holmes.

 

* * *

 

**5 Months**

 

Molly opened the door and smiled at everyone present in the house, giving a wave. “Hello everyone.”

“Molly?” John turned to look at Molly in surprise. Sherlock simply took a fleeting glance at her while adjusting his suit jacket, “Well, congratulations on getting engaged. Didn’t think that my brother would be ready to settle down so soon.” He scrunched up his face in disgust at the thought of it.

“What?” John looked at Molly in confusion, “Mycroft? Really?”

“This-” Molly tried to explain but she was instantly interrupted by Mrs Hudson. “Oh! Wedding! When would it be? Have you decided on what kind of wedding?” Mrs Hudson reached out to hold Molly’s hand, gently cupping her hand the way a mother would. 

“I-” Molly gave Mrs Hudson a strained smile as she continued to try correcting the mistake but another voice cut her off.

“Really Molly? Mycroft Holmes?” Lestrade frowned as he stared at her. “We don’t even know you dated him.”

Sherlock rolled his eyes, “It was so obvious, you people see but do not observe-” Sherlock was going to add something sarcastic to his comment when Molly, infuriated with the fact that no one bothers to listen to her when she is talking, exploded, “STOP!”

Everyone grew silent as they turned to stare at her, shocked that soft spoken Molly Hooper is actually capable of anger. With all eyes suddenly on her, Molly grew uncomfortable with the attention and started to nervously pull at her scarf, her face red with embarrassment.

She didn’t meant for the outburst of anger to happen. She breathed in deeply, before looking to meet their eyes, “I am not getting married, I mean,” She sighed, “I am getting married, but not to Mycroft Holmes.” Sherlock’s expression shifted in a manner that she did not get what it was supposed to mean.

Everyone around her remained silent still with their eyes still on her. Molly turned around and beckoned to Tom who stood some distance behind. “This is Tom. I am getting married to him.” She introduced Tom to them, her fingers slowly intertwining with Tom’s. She could already see Sherlock scrutinising him from head to toe with that look of his.

He was deducing Tom and it’s usually a disaster when people allowed Sherlock Holmes to deduce them. Molly tightened her hold on Tom’s hand as she warned Sherlock with a glare.

_Don’t you dare._

Sherlock stared at her, then slowly shifting his gaze elsewhere.

Molly heaved a sigh of relief. She released her grip on Tom’s hand and smiled at him, “I’ll go get a drink.” He nodded, kissing her on the cheek.

As she walked to the kitchen, she could hear Mrs Hudson offering a seat to Tom and the chatter resumed.

“Isn’t this too soon?” The deep, smooth baritone voice of Sherlock startled Molly as she was pouring herself some champagne.

“Oh, Sherlock. You scared me.” She placed her hand on her chest as she realised that it was only him.

“What happened to my brother and you?” Sherlock’s gaze flickered to her ring as he questioned her.

Molly simply raised her flute of Champagne at him and replied, “I’ve moved on.” Her smile wide and her voice exuding exuberance. He narrowed his eyes and seemed to be contemplating something when John called out to him, “Sherlock, they want the story !”

Sherlock frowned and stepped away, calling out to John, “In a minute.”

He took one last long look at Molly before stepping away. The moment Sherlock disappeared down the stairs, Molly heaved a sigh of relief as she felt her façade crumble. She don’t know if he saw through her lie but she prayed that he didn’t.

 

* * *

 

**6 Months**

 

“ _He is sick. Not that he would admit it. -A_ ”

Molly stared at the message for a minute before tucking the phone away into the pocket of her lab coat, willing her mind to not think about it.

That’s no longer her concern and she don’t understand why Anthea still bothers sending her updates on how Mycroft was getting on. They don’t have anything to do with each other anymore.

Molly’s gaze fell on the bouquet of lilies sitting in the corner of the morgue, a sense of guilt eating away at her heart. She didn’t know why she still feels guilty when Tom shows her signs of affection.

 

* * *

 

 

**8 Months**

 

Molly stared at her own reflection, somewhat in disbelief as she eyed the details of the gown. She turned around, to look at how the back of the gown looked. She didn’t think that she would have a chance to be in a wedding gown.

But here she is.

In a wedding gown. She turned her head to see that Tom adjusting his bowtie and smoothing his hair. Molly could see that he was nervous in his body language. Then, he turned to look at her, giving her a thumbs up with a bashful smile on his face. She would have giggled at the sight of that, if not for the heavy feeling in her heart.

She is getting married, Molly closed her eyes as she allowed the thought to sink in.

And somehow, her mind managed to drift to a long forgotten fantasy of hers. There, she imagined that Mycroft adjusting his suit jacket, arranging his hair, and how his face would light up when he sees her in her gown. She smiled at the thought of that, her smile bittersweet.

“Molly?”

Molly’s eyes flew open in surprise, oh. She smiled at Tom apologetically, “Sorry, drifted off. A little nervous about this. Wedding jitters.” Her eyes avoiding his gaze as she blabbered on.

“It’s okay.” He pulled her into his embrace and tightened his arms around her waist. “I understand.” He kissed the top of her head. “I cannot wait to get married.” She could hear the joy in his voice as he declared. But all Molly could do, was to press her lips together and shut her eyes, trying hard not to cry. She buried her face in his chest with a hand on his heart.

This is her choice.

* * *

**9 Months**

 

“Molly,” Tom frowned as he cupped Molly’s face in his hands, “Are you okay?”

Molly simply nodded, her complexion paler than usual. “I am fine.” She gave him a weak smile, “I can go with you for the food tasting. Don’t worry about this.” Tom frowned, “Are you absolutely sure? You don’t have to.”

“I want to.” Molly responded, her thumb caressing Tom’s cheek as she stared straight into his eyes. _I want to._ _But my heart keeps fighting you_.

Tom held a conflicted look as he looked at Molly but he eventually relented, “Anytime you don’t feel well, I will bring you back. Just say the word.”

Molly nodded, grateful for his understanding.

 

* * *

 

**9 Months**

 

If only she could keep lying to herself, Molly thought as she drifted off for the umpteenth time.

“Molly?” Tom waved a hand in front of her face, breaking her trance. “Are you okay?” He asked her, concerned.

“Sorry, I did this again.” She was embarrassed to keep doing this. It’s just that she couldn’t stop herself from imagining how things would be like with Mycroft instead. She glanced at Tom apologetically but he didn't respond to her, his eyes sad.

“I am sorry, but I think this will be all for today.” Tom bowed his head slightly as he stood up, then he turned to Molly, extending his hand. “I think you had enough.” His voice was filled with emotions Molly couldn’t tell what they were but when she looked at his face. She understood.

She placed her hand in his and allowed him to lead her out of the restaurant. He was silent throughout their entire walk and when he finally did stop, she looked around and realised that it was the same park where they had met and he had proposed.

Tom slowly turned to face her, his face still revealed the myriad of feelings he kept in despite how hard he was trying to keep it all in.

“Molly,” Her hand still in his, he tenderly caressed her hand, “why do you want to marry me?”

Molly gaped, then she shut it. She clasped both her hands together, her head bowed, “Because you are a good man.”

Tom didn’t answer, he was still waiting for her answer.

“Because,” She pressed her lips together, “you deserve happiness.” She lifted her head to look at him, she couldn’t see through the blurred vision a d she couldn’t see the expression on Tom’s face.

“I see,” Tom nodded as he bent slightly to meet Molly’s gaze, his free hand on her shoulder, “Do you love me?” He paused, “Even the slightest bit.”

Molly put a hand on his, “Too little.” _Too little compared to my love for Mycroft. Too little to save us all._

Tom bit his lips as he collected himself, straightening his back and removing his hand from her shoulder. “Then I will set you free.”  

Molly’s head jerked up to stare at him, confused.

He shook his head as he gently and slowly removed the ring from her finger. “I love you, so I will set you free from your misery. There’s a saying that if you love someone, set her free. If she doesn’t come back, it was never meant to be.”

Tom heaved, “I knew from the beginning that you would never forget him, but I am a selfish person and I made use of your weakness. I never did really give you the space to choose.” Molly shook her head when she heard his words, she didn’t think of him that way.

Tom smiled sadly, “Molly, you deserve happiness and I am not yours, no matter how much I want to be. I love you, so I don’t want you to regret your choice. I love you, so I want you to always be happy, to bask in happiness.”

Tom looked at Molly with a forlorn look, his hands caressing her face, whispering, “And I am not the one.”

Molly couldn’t help but bawl as she hugged him. She felt guilty for feeling relieved when she felt him removing her ring and when he said he is letting go. But Molly’s heart instantly calmed at that moment, it was no longer warring, it was no longer tormented.

“Thank you.” Molly whispered, her eyes shut, tears freely trickling down the corner of her eyes.

“Thank you for the memories,” Tom said softly as he kissed her eyelids, “I will always be here. Even if you don’t need me anymore.” He promised.

With that, he turned and walked away, all the while her eyes on his desolate figure.  

“Thank you.” She whispered once more.


End file.
